at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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