Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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