Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
