at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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