the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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