i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
my poor anus
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
