She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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