I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
No subtext here. People are naked.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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