dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
