What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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