Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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