Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
