I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I wear drunk well.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
