His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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