I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I believe in your delicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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