It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
