remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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