The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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