dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
