The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize