I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
