what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
