I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
