My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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