He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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