absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
