She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Your penis caused this!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
