do herpes really smell.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
