I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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