he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
ok first of all what the fuck
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize