carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
