You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
the raccoons are back...
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