She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just puked most of my soul out..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
