Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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