Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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