I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The air taste purple.
Randomize
