Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
