...so i touched it.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
