Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
