honey bunches of taint.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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