Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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