Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
