What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
