You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
