Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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