she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
