remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
