You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I touched a dick in church today