what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.