Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.

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  (860): I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder. http://tfl.nu/zegq
  Replies (17) Good night (4241) Bad night (501)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital

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  (416): Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital http://tfl.nu/9amh
  Replies (5) Good night (3979) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  you were grabbing cocks left and right

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"

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  (808): you were grabbing cocks left and right (808): you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!" http://tfl.nu/iaqo
  Replies (10) Good night (5136) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick

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  (813): from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick http://tfl.nu/923d
  Replies (17) Good night (5344) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.

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  (414): the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details. http://tfl.nu/93dt
  Replies (26) Good night (6367) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.

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  (310): I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets. http://tfl.nu/76ec
  Replies (16) Good night (745) Bad night (2784)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.

  (512): View more from Texas

  babe, don't say it like that!

  (713): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.

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  (713): I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight. (512): babe, don't say it like that! (713): I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening. http://tfl.nu/iuma
  Replies (139) Good night (38990) Bad night (1622)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.

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  (817): They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts. http://tfl.nu/tuhd
  Replies (7) Good night (5192) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...

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  (248): I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high... http://tfl.nu/j3oh
  Replies (55) Good night (5721) Bad night (1368)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.

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  (302): Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace. http://tfl.nu/xnkm
  Replies (9) Good night (797) Bad night (2729)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.

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  (619): Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't. http://tfl.nu/8mv6
  Replies (13) Good night (4316) Bad night (1384)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.

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  (218): I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday. http://tfl.nu/vjch
  Replies (4) Good night (1359) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?

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  (956): Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch? http://tfl.nu/v3f3
  Replies (3) Good night (479) Bad night (213)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.

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  (229): I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it. http://tfl.nu/6699
  Replies (0) Good night (379) Bad night (213)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM

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  (973): She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM http://tfl.nu/axe1
  Replies (1) Good night (405) Bad night (243)

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