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• (248): View more from Michigan

  You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee

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• (818): View more from California

  I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  we should wear snuggies to the strip club

  Fav 17 6741 1290

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  wanna hang out tonight and remember it?

  Fav 18 6485 2018

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.

  Fav 18 1588 1988

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat

  (614): View more from Ohio

  repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES

  Fav 6 2196 1002

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• (512): View more from Texas

  There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor

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• (361): View more from Texas

  u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I touched a dick in church today

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