do you believe in love at first sight?
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?