coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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