I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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