I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
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He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
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I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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