Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I intend to get homeless drunk
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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