So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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