You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
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everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
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Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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