I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
