gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Randomize
