You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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