Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
