let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
