Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Randomize
