The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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