"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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