I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He kissed a someone with a penis
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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