smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
