its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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