this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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