I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
